How to make friends as an adult? Run.
Get your runners on, we’re making friends today
Making friends as an adult is tricky. You no longer have the physical bind of school or university to bring peers together. Equally, there’s more layers to your life now. You’re more than the town you grew up in — with a job, maybe a partner or living in a new city.
So how do you do it? Aside from work (where friendships often come from the fact you’re contractually obliged to be nice to each other), how do you make meaningful friendships as an adult?
Enter the run club.
Ok, I hear you. Running isn’t for everyone. Pounding the pavement in your free time can’t be everyone’s idea of fun. But if you can run 5 kilometres at a social, chatty pace (and mildly enjoy it) then a run club can be one of the most authentic ways to meet new people.
This comes from one of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever received. When you’ve got something difficult to discuss with someone, take them on a drive. Why? Because it’s easier to have open, honest conversations when you’re sat side by side, without the intensity of eye contact.
Think of the deep conversations you’ve had on a long drive with friends. Or the breakups that began by going for a walk. When eye contact is broken, it’s easier to speak your truth.
The same applies to running.
I met my friend Tabitha* on one of my first runs at Your Friendly Runners Club, London. Three kilometres in, I’d opened up about my life and my struggle finding community and friends in a new city. I learnt she shared the same woes.
It’s hard to be vulnerable with someone you just met at 9am on a Saturday morning, but running alongside each other made it feel easy. We finished the run with a coffee and the rest is history. We’ve been running together ever since and she’s now a good friend of mine.
So if you’re looking to make new friends as an adult, find a social run club and try going alone. You won’t have a friend to cling onto and you’ll be encouraged to spark conversation with someone new.
As a way to meet people that avoids drinking, costs nothing and has benefits beyond making new friends, I think it’s a good start. Get your runners on and go.
*name changed
